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  • Writer's pictureShakita Dixon

Can a brother get some help?

Today, I was thinking about my future again as usual. I started this morning in prayer to God and came on to work. While at work, I was thinking about this new wave of relationships and dating that's out here and I thought to myself, what are we, the women, really doing here? What has happened to us so badly that all we want out of a relationship is for the man to buy us everything we think we need? Yeah, this is about us ladies today. Sit tight and keep the attitude on low, LOL.

I remember a time where dating actually meant getting to know a person to see if you mesh well together, in all aspects of life, in the hopes of getting married one day. These days it seems like all we want are “situationships”. We get into a situation with a guy and expect him to bring everything to the table, including the table, chairs and dinner while we do nothing but sit there and eat the good of his land. This is not what God intended, girlies.

If you look at Eve, God created her to be a helper (help meet) to Adam. She was created to help meet the needs of their household and everything else that God gave them dominion over. She didn’t just sit by and watch him work by the sweat of his brow and expect to reap the benefits of his labor. She came and worked with him, took care of the household, their children, etc. This is not to say that the man doesn’t have to bring the same amount of dedication but it would be nice if we would do our part too.

“If ya’ll don’t like that one, ya’ll should listen to this one”.

Jon Connor, The People’s Rapper, Last Call-Kayne Mixtape

He’s one of my favorite artists right now and that bar led me to my next point so let’s get back to the topic. If you don’t like Eve’s example, let’s run over to talk to the Proverbs 31 lady. She was beautiful, intelligent, kept herself looking nice for herself. Her husband was a man of nobility. She trusted him enough to want to be all that she could, not just for herself, but for him as well. She comforted him and encouraged him and he trusted in her. She was a seamstress, mother, wife, business owner, etc. She was full of wisdom but was humble enough to allow him to lead her. Her husband was well known in the land but he knew that his heart, his helper, resided at home. She helped out in the community and all sorts of things, so why can’t we do the same? He will need your helping hand and not just your hand out expecting something from him.

You can’t just show up to the table empty handed, ladies. So this weekend, ask yourself, what do you have to offer a potential mate, not a situationship? What example are you portraying to the little girls that are watching you? Good looks, big butts, nice clothes and expensive bags are all vain. It diminishes with time. What else do you have? Can you cook, wash dishes, clean? Are you good with managing money, organizing daily activities, taking out the trash, washing the car? What can you do that will help him meet the needs of your household?

All I’m saying is, be a helper to him and not a hindrance. I’m, not telling you to be his savior, I asking you to be his helper.Look at yourself and be completely honest. Can a brother really get some help from you when it counts?


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